Where do I begin? I have so many different emotions right now, I don't know what to do.
Since the beginning of October we have been dealing with our sick little maltipoo, Dexter, being sick. In 27 days we have made 6 emergency room visits, 5 overnight stays in the hospital and have spent over $3,000 in medical bills. And we still don't have any answers as to what is wrong with him.
It is so extremely frustrating. But the hardest part about it all is seeing my little pup suffer. He is constantly in pain. The vets keep thinking they may have found the answer or the cure. But nothing has helped yet. In fact, he is getting worse.
When do you say, enough is enough? I mean, no pet owner wants to think about putting their animal down... I cry every time we talk about the possibility. But at the same time, I think it is cruel to keep him in so much pain. He isn't living a good quality of life right now. It's "fair" at the very most. He can't go on walks. We can't give him treats. He can't play with us. Those are the 3 things his little world revolves around.
I have so many people voicing their opinions to me on how they would handle the situation. I am getting strong opinions from one extreme to the other. I don't mind people giving me their opinions, especially since I don't know what to do. But what I don't want is to feel judge if I don't agree or don't do what they suggest. If I decide to continue with seeing different veterinarians until we find an answer, or decide to end his pain and say goodbye, I do not want to ridiculed for it. And right now I feel that I would, by many. Like I already am.
As of now, Dex stayed at the hospital last night and will again tonight. Today at noon he will be given anesthesia and will go through some special x-rays and a spinal cord tap. They think there is a possibility of meningitis. Getting spinal cord fluids and doing cultures will let us know for sure. I praying that is. Because the only other thing they think it could be at this point is a malformation in his spinal cord, causing the cerebellum to leak out of his skull and into his spine. If that's the case, then there is no cure. Regardless of the results, please pray for him during his procedure today. There are huge risk factors with a spinal cord tap... neurological damage, paralyzation and there's a chance he just won't wake up.
Edward is having just as hard of a time with this as I am. He tries to be very positive. But I think part of that is he is scared because he never has had to deal with death before (a loved one or a pet). And he doesn't know how to handle this. Unfortunately, I can't say the same.
Do we do all we can until we find the answer? Even though that means Dexter is in constant pain 24/7? Even the large doses of morphine he is getting at the hospital isn't taking his pain away completely. Or do we let him go. He is only three years old. And the sweetest dog I have ever had. He is such a companion to Edward when he is home studying while I am at work. And to me when Edward is at school or studying until the early hours of the morning in his office.
But I don't want to be selfish. I just want to know what to do.....
Sorry for the "Debby Downer" today guys. On another note, I have a fun surprise coming for you all later today so be on the look out. And tomorrow I have an awesome giveaway going up!!
Until then, thank you for the prayers and I love you all.