Thursday, November 1, 2012

Emotionally Sick.

Where do I begin? I have so many different emotions right now, I don't know what to do.

Since the beginning of October we have been dealing with our sick little maltipoo, Dexter, being sick. In 27 days we have made 6 emergency room visits, 5 overnight stays in the hospital and have spent over $3,000 in medical bills. And we still don't have any answers as to what is wrong with him.

It is so extremely frustrating. But the hardest part about it all is seeing my little pup suffer. He is constantly in pain. The vets keep thinking they may have found the answer or the cure. But nothing has helped yet. In fact, he is getting worse. 

When do you say, enough is enough? I mean, no pet owner wants to think about putting their animal down... I cry every time we talk about the possibility. But at the same time, I think it is cruel to keep him in so much pain. He isn't living a good quality of life right now. It's "fair" at the very most. He can't go on walks. We can't give him treats. He can't play with us. Those are the 3 things his little world revolves around. 

I have so many people voicing their opinions to me on how they would handle the situation. I am getting strong opinions from one extreme to the other. I don't mind people giving me their opinions, especially since I don't know what to do. But what I don't want is to feel judge if I don't agree or don't do what they suggest. If I decide to continue with seeing different veterinarians until we find an answer, or decide to end his pain and say goodbye, I do not want to ridiculed for it. And right now I feel that I would, by many. Like I already am.

As of now, Dex stayed at the hospital last night and will again tonight. Today at noon he will be given anesthesia and will go through some special x-rays and a spinal cord tap. They think there is a possibility of meningitis. Getting spinal cord fluids and doing cultures will let us know for sure. I praying that is. Because the only other thing they think it could be at this point is a malformation in his spinal cord, causing the cerebellum to leak out of his skull and into his spine. If that's the case, then there is no cure. Regardless of the results, please pray for him during his procedure today. There are huge risk factors with a spinal cord tap... neurological damage, paralyzation and there's a chance he just won't wake up.

Edward is having just as hard of a time with this as I am. He tries to be very positive. But I think part of that is he is scared because he never has had to deal with death before (a loved one or a pet). And he doesn't know how to handle this. Unfortunately, I can't say the same. 

Do we do all we can until we find the answer? Even though that means Dexter is in constant pain 24/7? Even the large doses of morphine he is getting at the hospital isn't taking his pain away completely. Or do we let him go. He is only three years old. And the sweetest dog I have ever had. He is such a companion to Edward when he is home studying while I am at work. And to me when Edward is at school or studying until the early hours of the morning in his office. 

But I don't want to be selfish. I just want to know what to do.....

Sorry for the "Debby Downer" today guys. On another note, I have a fun surprise coming for you all later today so be on the look out. And tomorrow I have an awesome giveaway going up!!

Until then, thank you for the prayers and I love you all.





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26 comments:

Linds said...

I'm so, so, so sorry! Dogs truly are members of the family. I can't imagine being in your shoes. Praying that they atleast find answers that will give you a clear and definitive path on what you need to do for your little furry friend.

Megan Brink said...

I am SO sorry about Dexter. I can't even imagine the sadness and anxiety you both must feel with all of the uncertainty. I have three dogs myself, one of which I've had for four years now. I can't imagine a single day without her, and absolutely dread the day I have to go through what you are going through.

Although I don't have any suggestions, I do think you should do what is right for you. I know I wouldn't let my dog go without a fight, and it seems like you are doing the same. I'll definitely be praying for all of you, and I hope you find an answer soon. Those fur babies sure have our hearts!

Megan

abrinkadventure.blogspot.com

Cortney said...

Sending prayers your way. I know how incredibly painful it is for your sweet baby to be in pain. You'll make the right choice for you and your family. I'm so sorry you have to go through it. It broke my heart when I did.

Cari said...

This brought a tear to my eyes reading this post, and I know this has to be so heartbreaking. I know its a super hard decision because pups are such a big part of our families.

I am sending you all prayers he makes it through ok and you finally can get an answer. Just keep praying and it will come to you what you really and truly need to do.

If you DO happen to put him down you have to remember its what is best for him and he is no longer in pain and he knows that is not what you really want to do.


please keep us posted on what happens

xoxo


Ashley said...

Animals definitely become a part of our family. I hate to hear that your baby is having a hard time and the drs can't figure out what's wrong.

My advice - wait until after these tests are done to make a decision. If it's something that can't be fixed, then I think you already know what you have to do. As heartbreaking as it would be to let him go, I know you wouldn't wanna see him in pain until he finally just gives up.

I'll be praying that the tests he's having today will provide a clear answer for you!

Tiffany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...

I am so sorry. Your post is so sad, It makes me sad that your dog is still so young and is having issues. My SIL just decided last month to put her cat down that she has had for 14 years, unfortunately his kidneys were starting to fail and she couldn't handle seeing him in pain anymore. Honestly, If I were in that situation I would not know what I would do. You don't want to see your animal in pain but you don't want to put them down either.

I hope that they can figure out what is wrong with your dog. Im so sorry

XOXO Tiffany

Britt @ The Magnolia Pair said...

Mary, this makes me so sad. I'm sorry little Dexter is so sick :(
I have faith that they will find something soon. Will be praying for you three! Keep me updated!

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have a cat and I think about that day all the time. Bad enough, I am allergic and have refused to get rid of him, but now my allergies are worse. I don't know what to do since he is almost 10 now. I feel so guilty trying to give him to a shelter or whoever and not knowing if he is ok.

I never had to put an animal down, my mother did all that growing up. We just couldn't afford all the medical care so it was just a quick answer for her.

I guess I would have to force myself to that realization too. I wouldn't want my pet suffering since there is no way to explain to them what is going on. It would kill me, but it's necessary instead of them being in so much pain.

Erin @ Keep Calm and Sparkle said...

My heart breaks for you!! We had to make that hard decision two weeks ago Saturday. Putting our cat down was so hard but in the end we knew it was for the best. Just looking at her broke our hearts. Those that judge you have never been in that position or they are heartless. I prayed about it and even then I knew in my heart what needed to be done.

Hugs!!!

Suzanna said...

Hugs to you, Mary! I know this is a hugely difficult time and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for Dexter when the time comes. You're on my mind!

Suzanna

Andie said...

I am so sorry Mary. I have been there so I know how hard it is. You want to make the right decision and you don't want to doubt yourself. Hopefully the vets can figure out a solution for Dexter and make him well again. I will say a prayer for y'all.

megan said...

I'm so sorry to read what you're going through right now. Pets are parts of our families so when they are hurting, we hurt. I pray that they find out what is wrong with your little guy and whatever the outcome, your decision on the next step is an easy one. Don't worry about what other people think. They are not in your situation.

~Kristen~ said...

Aww, thoughts and prayers for your little pup.

Shannon said...

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It's amazing how attached we get to our pets and it's so hard to see them suffer. I'm dreading the day our cat and dog pass away. I really hope they can figure out the problem and find a solution but it would be totally understandable if you decide to put him to sleep so that he doesn't keep suffering.

Kat@shop.school.sleep. said...

Oh no!! I teared up reading and I can't offer any advice because I would have no clue what to do as well. I cannot imagine having to make that choice and I have 2 cats and 2 dogs (dogs live at my parents). My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope the doctor gives you good news, or at least news that gives you a definite choice one way or the other. Don't worry about what others say or think because it is easy to give advice, but not so easy to actually do what you may have to do. I sincerely hope it turns out alright and Dexter recovers.

SarahJane Miller said...

Oh no!! What a hard thing to go through! Nothing is worse then having an animal so sick. I remember when my dog was this sick and we were going through this same thing. My Dad couldn't bare to put him down so he let him go in his own time. He passed away during the night, one night. It was such an emotional thing to go through.

Such a hard decision to make and there is definitely no right or wrong. It is what works best for you. Thinking of you and your pup :)

sjdmiller.blogspot.com

Brittany @ Life of a Bama Girl said...

Praying for you all!

smk053078 said...

Oh sweet girl I am so sorry. This is so tough...I have been there. They are like a family member and seeing them sick and not being able to talk is awful. I am thinking of you and sending you hugs!!

Jessica Who? said...

i can't even imagine the pain you must be going through. i know how attached i am to my little baby puggle and i know i'd be a mess in your shoes right now. please don't worry about what people think. they have no idea what's going on in your mind or in your heart. if there's anything i can do, please let me know!! sending u and ur little fam lots of love and prayers! xx

Viva La.... said...

Oh my gosh, this post made me so emotional...couldn't help but shed a tear! I love my toy poodle to the end of the world, I couldn't imagine anything happening to my special little friend.

Please let us know what happens, I'm praying for a good outcome! Thinking of you xx

Misty said...

Aw, I hope your doggie gets better. Making this decision is a tough one.

New follower from the blog hop. :)

Emily B said...

Oh girl I am so sorry. My pups are babies too and I have idea what I'd do.

Amber said...

Aww, i'm so sorry! I'll be praying for y'all!

Katie said...

I'm so so sorry. Praying for you guys xo.

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